I'm still slowly going insane rotting away on this damn couch. I'm quite sad I'll be missing all the illuminations and fun that is going to be going on in Yokohama and Tokyo this season. I need to drum up some adventure...and fast! Since I was so active before my accident, this is taking an ever harder toll on me than I expected. It might seem awesome to sit on your arse all day watching T.V or playing games...but I promise you it's not, especially during the holiday season. Some people don't see my time on the couch as me missing out on anything. Their reasoning is that I can still go places (with difficulty and dependence on others), and can sit in the living room to be a part of the family. What they don't see is what I'm missing.
I couldn't take my kids out trick or treating, for the first time in their lives. I am unable to cook Thanksgiving dinner, tuck them into their bunk beds, wash my son's hair, or go on bike rides with them. I cannot take them out with me anywhere in Japan right now, I'm fully dependent on others to even help me pee.
Those people don't see that for the first time in eight years I will not be lifting my son up to put the star on top of the Christmas tree. I won't be baking cookies when they come home from school, with Christmas music on and ready to dance and swing them around. I'm not going to be able to hang snowflakes from the ceiling, or put up any decor at all (and their father is very anti-Christmas, so if it weren't for the kindness of my friends offering to help I doubt we'd get any decorations at all this year). I can't sneak up behind my children in their rooms and tickle them until they want to pee their pants. I can't, wrestle, jump, or play any game that isn't a board game (and those get old fast...even for kids). I won't be hosting our annual New Years sleep over for my boys and their friends, because I can't chase around the kids, go shopping, cook, or run any fun activities like last years ceiling balloon pop.
I'm not saying that my situation is the worst in the world. I'm saying that for those of you who are messaging me telling me that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself...you're right. I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, I should feel sorry for my kids. So please, take into consideration what I've said, put yourself in my shoes...and then shove them up your ass.