My mate in mischief is the wonderful Kelly. You've all heard tell of her before on here, I'm sure. What I haven't told you is exactly how big her breasts her. They are massive, and they are real. This is important to the story, not just a ploy to get you all to stare at my friends chest or to bring in male readers.
*I am going to make a generalization about Japanese women. If it pisses you off, too bad. You can go freshen up your sour twat with a lemon and rinse it with vinegar to add some sweetness. That's right, I'm telling you that I believe lemon juice and vinegar is sweeter than your vagina because you're a cranky sassypants. *
It's been our experience (mine and Kelly's) that Japanese women LOVE her tits. More than once (just about every time) we've gone out drinking, she's had random Japanese women come up and rub, grab, and pinch her breasts. It's odd and awesome, and makes me want to buy some chicken cutlets to pump my pitiful puppies up so they can get some playtime too. Anyways, we've decided on a get rich quick scheme (or at least a get free drinks scheme). We're going to order her a necklace that says "boob shots, 500¥. That's right. I'm going to be her tit pimp and we're going to let Japanese women suck all up on her cleavage in order to get money that we're probably going to turn around and spend on more booze. Well that's the plan at least. I highly suspect we'll end up giggling like idiots, take pictures, and spill the shots everywhere forcing us to buy *them* replacement shots. Although if that happens we totally have a plan B. We'll let the Japanese men lick the liquor off. For 5,000¥.
We're so going to be rich. Or end up in jail for attempted (and most likely failed) prostitution. It's kind of a toss up.
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| Here they are! The Epic tits that cause Japanese women to fondle, grope and go gaga. I'm fond of them as well but she won't let me touch them because she's a whoreface. |
As an added bonus, my darling sister did this for me, since I felt bad about not showing her face and just using her tits like a dirty old man. So here's the picture she sent me:
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| Isn't it awesome?! You can find more here: serinaloverofnaruto |
Ha! Psych. This is a drawing of her...with a ninja mask! I'm thinking of doing a giveaway where Serinaloverofnaruto (aka my sister) will do the same to one of your photo's if you guys are interested. What do you think?
My bestie has giant boobs...how have I not pimped them out for shots yet??? Sounds like a great plan to me!
ReplyDeleteI'd love enter a giveaway to get ninja-fied :)
That's what friends boobs are for! You gotta get in on that, and don't forget the pictures lol! Yay! One vote for a giveaway!
DeleteYour sis is so talented! I'm jealous. I want some crazy art skills too! I can't even draw stick people with straight lines. *sigh* the plight of an untalented artist...
ReplyDeleteI also have a best friend with a gigantic rack, and she lets me motorboat them when we go out. I couldn't tell you how many times she's gotten us free drinks with those suckers. They're phenomenal. I think I need to bring her to Japan.
Haha! Go for it!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was an exchange student in Japan, one of my classmates came up to me on the train, felt my chest up and I kid you not, she started feeling her own boob, comparing the two saying "Heavy... Light..."
ReplyDeleteThen she looked up at me and said "Tristian, you must share your bust with me." Best train moment ever.
Oh God, I just about died laughing! Did you explain to here that it doesn't work that way?
DeleteI did ._ . and I asked her why I should share, and she said "Because I want a bugger bust."
DeleteAnd then my "Boin" were a hot topic among the students.
One of my kids (in Korea, I don't have any of my own) was so excited to pantomime the following joke. He was probably 8 years old (American age) and had a very limited English vocabulary, so I'll write it all out.
ReplyDeleteHe said, "Teacher! Teacher! Korea teacher: *mimes eating sandwich then brushing crumbs from lap*
America teacher: *mimes eating sandwich then brushing crumbs from enormous chest*"
And we all had a good laugh.
Also, I would now like to congratulate my awesome self. I have just backstalked you all the way from the beginning and now I've made it here. Ok, it helped that you didn't have 399+ posts, but still. THis endeavor took me, like, three days! Go, me. Stalker of the Year!