Thursday, January 24, 2013

I'm just a small town girl, living in a lonely...eff this.

I am most assuredly not a small town girl. Things didn't work out how they were supposed to for me when I moved back to my home town. My sons education is suffering severely. He is in second grade and do you know what he brought home for his homework today? This was the hardest problem on his sheet: 12 + [ ] = 16. The answer is 4. What a brain teaser, right? When we left Yokosuka he was working on multiplication, fractions, cursive, had sight words every week and spelling words that consisted of more than three letters. His spelling words are the same level as those he learned in kindergarten/1st grade. This weeks top three: bow, doe, elbow. He's not being challenged, and his teacher can't keep her room under control. I've seen children walk out of her classroom during the morning without her noticing. I've walked in while she was sitting at her desk while kids were running around (around 9 am, school starts at 8:15), talking, books on the floor, kids walking in and out of the room. At one point, a man came in and touched my son on the shoulder and spoke to him. The teacher didn't even look up. I stepped up behind him and asked him who he was (he was his speech teacher), but that still did NOT sit well with me.

After the tragedy at Sandy Hook, I went in to tell his teacher that my son has never participated in a lock down, and asked if she could please expand on what to expect when it happened, what would go on in her classroom. Of course I told him a little bit of what to expect, but I did not know the exact drill for it. She assured me that she'd speak to the whole class before the drill, reassure them that it was just practice. Turns out she didn't warn him, never talked to him and they had a lock down two days later. He cried during the whole thing because he thought it was real and had trouble sleeping that night. During his IEP meeting, I brought up his reading issues. His teacher told me she still hadn't evaluated him. Really! He's been in your class for three months, and I requested he be evaluated when I enrolled him. I know it's not just the teachers fault, but this is her last year before retirement. I'm not kidding when I say she's completely checked out. She doesn't collect the homework she sends home, if my son doesn't finish an assignment in class he brings it home to finish. I send it with him the next day and he'll bring sit back saying "teacher said I didn't have to finish it". Most teachers I've met want you to finish your classwork, and if you can't you're supposed to bring it back the next day!

While on a field trip that I chaperoned I saw a little girl smack him on the ass. Yeah, you read that right. She smacked him on the ass, and the teacher didn't see it. So I pointed it out to her and what does Teacher do? Sits the girl down for all of two minutes (no joke). Then she turns to her and says "you were probably trying to just get his attention weren't you? ". I swear to God. That's it. No reprimand, no warning, nothing. I've been to his classroom twice because of this girl, She tickles him, touches him, pinches him, pulls on him. My son is a very sensitive, private person when it comes to his body. He doesn't drop the H bomb often, but he has when talking about how much he hates this girl because she makes him feel uncomfortable. I ask the teacher to please keep them separated but all I get are platitudes. I don't want to ruin her life, she's only eight after all. I firmly believe that the issue could be resolved if the teacher was actually present in the classroom, rather than just sitting at her desk most of the day. Those of you who were earlier readers know that the only other school that is decent (okay, it's phenomenal) in the area he's not allowed to attend.  There is no other suitable school for him to attend here, and I do not have my homeschooling materials with me to pull him out. So I've decided.

We are going back to Japan. In one month. To stay.

I'll get an education. I might be 40 years old before I can finally hold that degree in my hand, but damn it my kids have to come first. My son is miserable at that school, and there are no other options for him. I'd rather see him succeed than live every day knowing that he's missing out on a quality education. I'll miss my family, so damn much. My new 2 month old nephew, my sisters I'm finally bonding with, my mother, aunt, grandmother, my cousins who are growing up and away so fast. I'm going to miss them all. I'd like to say that I'd come  home one day but truthfully, I can't. Even if I come back in two years I'll face the same issues regarding what schools my children can attend thanks to decisions we made in our past. I won't let them suffer and not give them the chance for a top notch education because of that. I can wait for my education, but they can't.

Doesn't matter if he wants to prented to be a seƱor  in school musicals....

Or if he wants to be an Amtrak Train conductor. They both deserve the best education to get them as close to their dreams as possible. 

There were other considerations in our decision to go back or stay, (one of which was how much it's going to suck for us. We spent eight thousand dollars to move us here from Japan so I could go to school; money that you can consider wasted because we are losing the deposit on the rental house (for early lease breaking), the furniture and other items I bought will cost hundreds to ship, storage and shipping for my car back...sigh), the education issue was the ultimate deciding factor and outweighed everything else. The bright side? My oldest will be re-enrolled at the Hayama International school, my youngest is off to the Yochien, and they will have a good school experience and most importantly: LEARN. They'll also see their father again, I'll get to eat super yummy foods again, and of course more blog fodder and fun prize giveaways! .... Look on the bright side, right? Pin It

5 comments:

  1. I would imagine that was a really difficult decision to make, but like you said, making sure your kids educational experience is the best possible one you can give them is vital.

    Is there any way you could do at least some of your degree online while you're living in Japan?

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    1. I want to go into nursing (neonatal). So I can do the prerequisites up to a point. Then I'll have to wait until we are back stateside. I think the worst part is that I brought them from Japan, and now have to take them right back, it's been a very unstable year for them and I feel so guilty about that!

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  2. Kids are more resilient than we realize sometimes. They'll bounce right back from it. The fact that you're moving back to Japan so that the boys can be with their dad and get the honest education that they deserve shows that you're an awesome mom. Never forget that, and never regret it.

    Try not to look at it as a waste of money. You were trying to do the right thing for you and those beautiful boys. You got to see family and friends. Your boys got to experience a Michigan winter. Now you're going back to a place you love to be with people you love...

    Plus, you know, used panty machines. pffft! Can I come too?

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  3. You're making a great decision, and for all the right reasons! I'm a teacher in our educational system (or used to be, I got laid off two years ago due to budget cuts) and I know how messed up it is. I want nothing more than to teach, but I want to do it my way. The stupid state testing has taken away any creativity teachers might have in planning lessons, and is creating robots out of our students. Critical thinking skills are at an all-time low, and it's just saddening. This time away from teaching has really made me ponder whether or not I want to get back into the school system or try to do something else with my talents.

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  4. Oh, ok. Nevermind what I said a few comments back. You're totally on the right track.
    I'm sure we can find clever ways to kidnap nurses. In the meantime, may as well start school online. Or check to see if there's a women's university near where you live in Japanland; they may be up to trading classes for classes - you help with English classes and you get to take a class in return. Maybe learning Japanese 101 which will help when you're a nurse and are taking care of (and by that, I mean stealing and sending to me) Japanese babies.

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