*I am still upset and disturbed over what is going on in my last post. But in an attempt to lighten up the mood, and get my mind off of everything, I'm writing the post below*.
During my absence, I was nominated for something called a Liebster Award. I have no idea how to pronounce that, but in my head it sounds eerily close to keister. Apparently my mind does not like the "B" sound. This prestigious award (shut your face, it is) nomination came from one of my favorite commenters, Jeneral Insanity (she's kind of a big deal, because she's awesome. ). This was posted in my comments over a month ago, and I'm hoping I'm not too late to participate but well, we all know I'm either chronically late or lost 90% of the time anyway. So I am going to assume that Insanity went and posted that comment early because obviously she has been stalking me intimately enough to know the important stuff. With that said, Jeneral, have you seen my pink and purple thong? I'm pretty sure my son stole it again to try to build himself a home made Angry Birds slingshot.
So, apparently this award comes from Germany and was given to German blogs for I dunno, doing awesome stuff like training dogs to be German Ninja's (destroying stereotypes, one at a time. Now that's a great reason to give an award). There are rules for receiving the award (or for giving it, I'm not entirely sure). I don't even know if I really even got an award, but I'm going to go ahead and pretend I did anyways because if someone writes me and says I can't have it I'll just remind them of how I scarified my left nipple in the great cinnamon war of 2011. If that guilt trip doesn't work then I'll just make up my own award, because I already do that anyways. So onto the Official Rules for the Liebster Award: (Original)
You must thank the person who gave you this award.
You must display the Liebster heart on your blog.
You should nominate 3 to 5 up-and-coming blogs (with less than 200 subscribers)
Nowadays there are new rules, and they are:
Each person must post 11 things about themselves
Answer the questions the person giving the award has sent you.
Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
Choose 11 people to award and send them the link to your post. Go to their page and tell them.
No tag backs.
Because I know you are all just dying to know 11 things about me, I'll start with those, please don't expect any kind of neatness or sense making in the following paragraph.
I once ripped the head off of my sister's favorite teddy bear and filled it with lunch meat, then sewed it back on because she made me mad. It would be a better story if I could remember why I was mad at her. It was probably because she said I was ugly or fat. I shower a lot\, between 2-4 times a day. I'm not a germaphobe, I just really love my shower head (get your pervy minds out of the gutter...okay, fine. You can keep it half in and half out of the gutter with that one). I like to Cosplay Anime characters. I've always loved dressing up and it's like I get to participate in Halloween year round, only instead of candy I get booze and free manga. I adore shoes, I have a pretty big collection but never, ever wear them. I always intend to wear them but then I realize that I don't have the right color shirt, or that I need a darker pair of skinny jeans and so on and so on. That has never stopped me from buying more though. I love to collect things, my newest obsession is umbrellas, my old one was rain boots. I've been eyeing some super cute raincoats I've been finding online lately, so I have a feeling that a new obsession is right around the corner. Hey, at least I tend to collect things in a themed order. I procrastinate like it's my job. I tend to work better under pressure anyways. I want to plant a garden but despise getting my hands dirty. I'll be sure to let you all know how that works out, especially since I hate bugs too. Gloves can solve one problem, and fire the other, but I'm not sure how that will work out for the tomatoes I want to grow. My favorite candies are M&M's and my two most favorite movies of all time are The Princess Bride and The Labyrinth. I'm always on some sort of diet, and I enjoy running (once I get past the whole OMG my entire body is jiggling like fresh jello stage). There you are, eleven things you probably could have lived without needing know about me.
I'd like to stop here and give a big thank you to Jeneral Insanity here, for being awesome and taking the time to nominate me and read my blog. You rock.
Now, onto her questions:
1. What is the first thing you would do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse? Honestly? Probably poop a little bit.
2. If you were stranded on an island and could only take 3 things with you, what would they be? A kindle loaded with every book on Amazon, sunscreen, and the Professor from Gilligan's Island, because eventually I will want off that island and he's the most qualified to get me off of it. He'd have had a better run if he wasn't marooned with well...you know.
3.What would you do if I showed up at your house in a chicken suit with a potato gun and asked if you could come out to play? Grab my stuffed tentacle arm, some potatoes (because apparently you didn't remember to bring those) and a video camera and suggest that we go to the Red Light district and find us some massagi girls to film for prosperity. There is big money to be had in potato-pelting/tentacle arm love films. It's an untapped genre.
4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, and why? (Or not why. Some things are self-explanatory.) I've had kids. Everything from neck down needs to be brought back up and tightened.
5. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be, and why? I'd make it so that all food had to be organically grown with the best interest of the Earth and our health in mind.
6. What’s your favorite thing about writing a blog? The fact that I don't have to write if I'm not feeling it.
7. What is your favorite food? Caffeine's a food group, right?
8. If you had one super power, what would it be? I'd want to be able to stick my hands into my pockets and always have exact change for what I want to buy. I could be like Batman, but without worrying about a bank account.
9. Do you reheat leftover pizza, or eat it cold? If it's after sex, eat it cold. If I'm eating it for lunch the next day I'll warm it up.
10. If I asked you really nicely and offered you my favorite pen, would you give me your pants? Sure, but you'd have to throw in a notebook if you want to upgrade to the luxury "defecated" edition.
11, Coming up with 11 random questions is hard. If you were me, what would you ask you? Please do that here and then answer it. I'd ask why you didn't just skip a number while numbering them so it looked like you had all eleven questions. I'm guessing it's because you didn't have enough sugar in you when you were writing this.
Coming up with 11 people I'd choose is hard because all of the bloggers I read either already have this, or are way too big and busy with important blogger work to answer it. So I'm skipping this section. I know, I'm a horrible person. Shush. By skipping this I realize that it means that I'd also be off the hook for the eleven questions, but I'm a nosy person so this is what I am going to do. Because I lazy, I am going to ask 5 questions instead of eleven, and you, dear readers, can choose to answer as many as you want in the comments. Copy/paste the question and write your answer below it in the comment box. Then I will use a random number generator to select a lucky ducky to win this awesome pack of....I don't have any idea. I *think* it's candy, but it could be cards or a toy or something. *Please excuse the crappy webcam picture, my Nikon is in the car and it's cold outside.
 |
| Yeah! A pack of...something? |
Entry questions:
1. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had, and what grade were you in?
2. Which would you rather: would you rather lick the underside of a Wal-Mart toilet seat, or make and wear a necklace out of used tampons?
3. What was the name of the movie that had a little boy locked in a classroom coat closet over night, and there was a ghost child re-enacting her murder? I can't for the life of me remember and it's driving me nuts.
4. Do you have any strange phobias?
5. If you have kids, what is the most embarrassing thing they have ever done/said in public? If you don't have kids (or don't want to answer the kids one), what is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done/said in public?
There you go! Enjoy! I will choose a winner on December 16, 2012. Pin It
1. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had, and what grade were you in? None. They were all ugly e.e
ReplyDelete2. Which would you rather: would you rather lick the underside of a Wal-Mart toilet seat, or make and wear a necklace out of used tampons? Uhm toilet because believe it or not, they clean those daily.
3. What was the name of the movie that had a little boy locked in a classroom coat closet over night, and there was a ghost child re-enacting her murder? I can't for the life of me remember and it's driving me nuts. Uhm.. I wouldn't know because I have never ever seen it.
4. Do you have any strange phobias? Does being afraid of the dark because you think your sister is going to turn into a clown and kill you count?
5. If you have kids, what is the most embarrassing thing they have ever done/said in public? If you don't have kids (or don't want to answer the kids one), what is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done/said in public? Er I don't have kids, you know this lol... So I guess the oddest thing I've done in public was walking around wall-mart with a foam finger dressed like Misa, and was with my friend who was dressed like light. We were singing, so that was odd and embarrassing
Of course I brought potatoes! But potato-pelting/tentacle arm love films ARE an untapped market and we should get on that soon before the ninjas read this and put a patent on the idea and take all of our riches. Those damn ninjas are always stealing the best ideas...
ReplyDeleteComing up with people that don't already have the shiny (it always reminds me of a va-jazzled va-jay-jay at first glance) Liebster award was hard. It's like the herp. Everyone already has it or doesn't want it.
And now for your amazing questions:
1. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had, and what grade were you in?
Mr. McDivett (I think that was his name. We called him Mr. McHotty. I know. Clever.) - 7th grade. He was fresh out of college and SO HOT that you could have deep fried chicken nuggets between his ass cheeks in half the time it normally takes.
2. Which would you rather: would you rather lick the underside of a Wal-Mart toilet seat, or make and wear a necklace out of used tampons?
This depends on a lot of factors. Am I winning a prize? Is there money or fame involved? Who's used tampons are they and how long do I have to wear them? Are we in the men's or women's bathroom? Because those are both pretty gross. I'm going to assume that I'm winning something amazing and say the tampon necklace. At least I could wear a turtleneck underneath it so it didn't touch my neck. Plus - I'd have a ready made snack with me at all times.
3. What was the name of the movie that had a little boy locked in a classroom coat closet over night, and there was a ghost child re-enacting her murder? I can't for the life of me remember and it's driving me nuts.
I have NO IDEA but I'm in love with it already. If I find it before you, I'll let you know because I think I need to show my kids that so they'll quit playing in my damn closet downstairs. That's where I hide presents...
4. Do you have any strange phobias?
When I was 6 I saw Stephen King's "IT" and it is still the only movie that has scared the ever-loving shit out of me. To this day, I can and will NOT walk over a drainage grate on the road. I also don't walk on manhole covers for the same reason. Oddly enough though - I'm not scared of clowns.
I also have a weird thing with "unknowns" touching the back of my neck. I have no idea where this comes from, but if something randomly touches me back there I will FREAK THE FUCK OUT. And if it's wet? UGH! *shudder* If you thought walking through a spiderweb turned someone into instant ninja?! Stand back, because I will hurt you and your eardrums.
5. If you have kids, what is the most embarrassing thing they have ever done/said in public? If you don't have kids (or don't want to answer the kids one), what is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done/said in public?
I have a very unhealthy obsession with midgets. I also have 3 children. Whenever we're out in public, I try to act as human as possible (but probably end up coming across as an alien trying not to be discovered). Any time my son sees someone shorter than 5 feet tall, he yells "HEY MOM! LOOK! A MIDGET!" and I tell him to quiet down, but he's so excited that he really can't. "BUT MOM! It's right THERE! You should go get it and bring it home! Then you'll have something to do while we're at school!" and then we walk around while I explain the differences in height/names (midgets, dwarves, humunculous)...
I guess that's more funny than embarrassing. God forbid we ever run into a real midget. We'll both lose our shit and end up with restraining orders.
Your son sounds *awesome*. A fun fact: my mother is 4'7. I think your son should meet her because every time someone calls her a midget, she smacks them with a wooden spoon.
DeleteHe's very *special*. I would love for him to meet your mother, too. He doesn't get smacked with wooden spoons often enough.
ReplyDeleteThat little package looks like a pack of Magic: The Gathering cards featuring Mighty Morphing Power Rangers knock-offs.
ReplyDelete