I've totally failed this A-Z blog month. I'm so far behind it isn't even funny. I'm going to finish it though, out of principal and because why the hell not. To be fair my personal life kind of just blew up into a shit storm of tiny glass pieces, but that's really nothing new and I should have been able to post through it, but I kind of lost my mojo for a few days. Anyway I'm back on track now so onto the letter P we go!
When we lived in the States we were stationed in Norfolk, Va. Our families were in Michigan and Florida, which meant when we wanted to visit it was always going to be a hell of a haul. We chose to drive thanks to my irrational fear of planes, and the longest drive was from Norfolk to Cheboygan, a whopping 22 hour drive (with stops). I hated stopping at hotels so always plowed right through it, no small thanks to Starbucks and my Dodge's wonderful ability to sync and store my iTunes playlists.
I have always been a firm believer that children do not need to listen to inappropriate music, to the point where I've been the "bad mom" on the field trip bus who jumped out of her seat and asked to change the music when Ke$ha's "Die young" song came on (seriously, second grade children do not need to hear any of the spewtastic lyrics that she puts out). I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm so far from it that it's not even funny. My youngest goes around singing "heeey sexy lady" from Gangnam Style, much to my humiliation and ignores my desperate pleas to stop saying sexy. However I do try to make sure my kids are listening to age appropriate music. So on these road trips to Cheboygan we had a specific playlist rotation.
We'd leave home around 7 am, and arrive sometime between 3 and 5 am.
|Yay, roadtrip! Not really. Please note the sky outside, how freakin' early it is and already my children are playing with my damn camera. I look cheerier than I feel here.|
Whee! Road trips! Yeah...no. Please note the sky and how Goddamn early it is and already my kids are playing with my camera.
Hours 1-5 were toddler tunes. You know the type, mind numbingly cute songs like the wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider, ABC's, and so on. I purchased a 100 song disc back when my oldest was first born from Wal-Mart and have thrown in songs by The Wiggles, Imagination Movers, songs from TV shows like Phineas and Ferb. The type of songs you can tune out but still somehow find yourself singing along too.
After lunch we'd switch to the Kids Bop playlists. Oh my lawd. I chose Kids Bop songs for my oldest because it was cheaper and easier to find than popular songs that were were censored and kid friendly. I'm lazy and because of that I totally deserve the hell that is those screeching children's voices singing Lady Gaga. Kid's Bop will take us from lunch time until dinner, and it was always the hardest part of the trip. The songs served mainly as background noise for the arguing and fighting over toys, and whining from the boys. Every time I'd try to turn off the music though, they'd complain. So by the time we would be pulling off the highway for dinner my left eye would be twitching and I'd be praying for more Advil.
After dinner is by far my favorite part of the trip. Our normal bedtime for the boys is 7-7:30 pm and we would time the dinner stop for 6-6:30 so that by the time we got back into the car the boys would be ready to pass out. It worked like a charm every time. Yay! It was finally time for momma to get her groove on.
I drive better when I have good music, the time flies by and I'm always in a cheerful mood when I get a chance to sing in the car. I want to be very clear, I cannot by an means sing well, not even a little bit. Yet I do it anyways because it brings me great joy, and embarrassment to my family when I do. I remember being a freshly married seventeen year old, riding around in my first car, our Saturn Ion. I'd roll down the windows and turn up Lords of Acid's song Pussy and belt it out loud and proud.
"I wanna see your pussy
Everybody says it's nice
Can I can and come and visit?
I'll be at your house tonight
They tell me it's soft to touch and really smooth
I can hardly wait to feel that pussy too
You wanna play with pussy all the time
To hide that kind of pussy is a crime
You say you're pussy's clever and so slick
But I think your pussy's kind of sick"
Those are some of the lyrics from the song. I love that song so much my heart hurts. Alas, just a few weeks after getting that spiffy car, I learned I was pregnant. The days of belting out semi-obscene lyrics were behind me just as quickly as it had started, and were replaced with car seats and family friendly jingles that made me want to pull out my hair because each of my boys always wanted the same songs played over and over. Sigh. Anyway back to my playlists and road trips. Along with Lords of Acid, I'd have Zug Island, Prince's Pussy Control, and just the all around not for kids ears type of music we all (most) know and love. So on our long hauls home, I'd move the speaker sound to the front and sing along quietly from 8 pm-ish until the wee hours of the mornings. I'd revel in adult music, kitschy pop songs and just in general enjoy feeling a little less like a frazzled mom who has to worry about everything and more like me. I'm not saying that caring about what kind of music you expose your children to defines you as a good or bad parent. I'm saying that *I* care, and that's my choice, one that I know I'm making for the good of my kids but is a serious detriment to my sanity. I will bitch about having to listen to twelve hours of kids music because I can, and because let's be honest here, kids music suck most of the time. I decidedly do not give a fuck about a baby beluga whale being on the go. I also know that along with me, a lot of moms out there occasionally have an 'oh shit' moment when they realize their kids are singing seriously inappropriate tunes, and feel bad for listening to their own music knowing damn well that's where their offspring hard the phrase "heeey sexy lady!" and now won't stop screaming it out at the grocery store even though she's normally really diligent in making sure that doesn't happen.
Since those younger years I've learned that not all adult music is bad. My kids also listen to Owl City, Buddy Holly, a few Beyonce songs and a couple of other artists I can tolerate better than the fucking Wiggles (although I totally have a crush on two of them).